The State of My Union...

Wow....4 months since a post? Maybe this relationship isn't working out so well, blog. I mean....I guess it is a little one-sided. ;-)
So after 4 months being a Vegas resident, I'm just beginning to settle in. Overall, I'm really glad I made the move here. It hasn't been a great year for me; while I've had a lot of exciting things going on in my life, I've had quite a run of bad luck. I've been really struggling financially, physically, and of course those things add to the mental and emotional stress that other events have created within myself. WOW....talk about a dose of gratitude when you need it: As I'm sitting here bitching about poor little me in my blog, I have Law and Order on the tube to serve as background noise. A little boy, about 8, just witnessed his father shooting himself in the head as the police held him at gunpoint. Eh....guess I could have had it a little worse. While I was in the office today, I had this wave of emotion come over me (which has been happening pretty frequently lately), and I just started crying from this feeling of emotional exhaustion I have. While I try to have a positive outlook on life despite the adversity I've faced, I really hope the next 26 years are a lot easier. It's crazy, but my threshold for crisis or tragedy seems to lessen as I get older. Or maybe it's just that I've finally reached my threshold.....
For whatever reason, I've been in a reflective state over the past few months. Maybe this means it's time to make some changes in my life. I'm not quite sure exactly what it is I feel I need to add or subtract from my life, but I know I'm not the type of person to allow myself to be discontent. People give me so much shit about how analytical I am, and I'm certainly not giving up on this one until I figure it out.
There are some obvious things that I know are bothering me, but the rest will take some digging to really hash out what it is I want, and the uncertainty of who I want to be only adds to the feeling of emptiness that I've been feeling at my core.
I started to write my memoir, and I'm sure the brainstorming and little writing I've done has contributed to these thoughts and feelings. I'm just going to keep going though....this is something I've always wanted to do, and even if it takes me years, I'm certain some of the process, and definitely the completion will be therapeutic.
Along with my book, I'll be working on my resolutions and goals for the new year.....