So I'm totally psyched that I decided not to compete this year. I really feel like it was the best decision I could have made right now. As cliche as it sounds, I really am looking forward to the time I can spend working on my spiritual self. As a bodybuilding competitor, that one activity easily consumes my life, and I feel like I've kind of lost sight of who I am as a result of that. I just want to take a little time to revisit the other things that make me who I am and explore new areas as well.
Once I came to this conclusion (yesterday), I had to act right away.....because I don't do anything casually. ;-) So I walked into this MMA studio that is a few blocks away from my apartment. I've been driving past it for months, and every time I do, I think about how I've always wanted to learn how to box.
So...I walk in and tell the young guy sitting behind the counter that I want to get some more information on their classes. He asks, "Well, what are you interested in?" I say, "I don't know really....I just want to punch somebody." He seemed to get a kick out of that and told me to stick around for the Muay Thai class that was just about to start. So I hung out for about a half an hour waiting and chatted with this guy a bit. The crazy thing was he knew an awful lot about female bodybuilding....didn't see that coming. I attract schmoes like white on rice!
Anyway....the class was awesome. It's an intense cardio workout, and I feel like it's what has been missing as far as my physical activity.......I like the contact and the social interaction incorporated with the physical aggression. Bodybuilding can be a very lonely sport, and it's near impossible to have other hobbies when you are competing.
So, I'm pretty sure Muay Thai and boxing are going to be a regular thing for me for awhile. I'm still going to train in the gym of course, but not having the burden and pressure of a competition really frees my mind and time up to do other things.

I spoke with my grandmother on the phone tonight and told her about my boxing class. Her response: "Your going to be dangerous! You picked your Mom up like a sack of potatoes at the beach last weekend."
Hahaha
I love my family.

All that said.....I'm fairly positive I'll get back on stage in 2010. As conflicting as it can be, I have such a passion for bodybuilding, and it's not something I want to give up. I just need to learn how to do it in a way that is mentally and emotionally healthier for me.....

Let me wipe the dust off of this thing....

Every so often, I go through an awkward adjustment phase in my life. It always seems to arise out of the blue, although I'm probably just oblivious to all of the precursors. Suddenly I will be discontent with everything in my life, I will go through a period of extreme discomfort, and then I'll start making radical changes.

That feeling of dissatisfaction recently crept up on me, and after some deep reflection I'm left questioning who I am and who I want to be. It's so easy to lose sight of what is important to me when I'm stuck in the daily grind of life. I can become so focused on one thing, that I lose the focus of everything in the peripheral.

So I've been a mess the last few days, trying to figure out what it is that is bothering me. I really don't have an articulate answer to that yet, but I know that I should embrace these awkward moments because with them comes growth.

A usual morning these days....

Woke up this morning an hour later than I wanted to....
Anyone who really knows me understands that I am not at my prime in the morning. It really takes me at least 30 minutes before I am coherent and able to communicate.
I drink my coffee (a must), check my email and stuff, and get ready to head out the door for AM cardio. Just one of those days......
First of all, I can't get out the front door because they're doing some kind of work on the steps at the entrance of my apartment building. So I make the detour around the building to get to my car, praying that I don't bump into anyone that wants to chat. Yes, the 30 minutes has passed so I'm a little more awake now, but I think that window of time is actually longer when I haven't eaten. Yep, gotta do the cardio on an empty stomach.
So I drive the 2 miles to the gym I like, but of course it takes 15 min. to get there because I live in Northern Virginia where the traffic is the worst in the country. I get to the gym, walk to the front door and see the sign....."Sorry, we're closed to due a power outage."
Grrrr! Now I'm even grumpier and hungrier, but determined to get my cardio in. So I drive to South Arlington and do my 45 min. on the treadmill.

Hmmmm....I think blogging will be good for me. It really helps you put things in perspective when you write things out. How lucky I am to have such high quality problems, eh?

So I've eaten my eggs, and now I'm a happy camper.